People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
