Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
