when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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