And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
