it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize