I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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