Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dicks are not precious.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize