Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
