Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
