For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
