oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
