he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
