Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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