omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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