DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
