Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
