That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
