Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
