Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
