do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
