I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
