Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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