So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
