I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
