I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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