party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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