So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish you could order shots online.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize