I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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