the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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