I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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