Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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