And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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