dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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