We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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