dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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