guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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