You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
