At least make sure they are 18
Why
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
