Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
