hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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