You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
