Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You can't just leave with hair like that
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
