The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
