everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
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