yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
