This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
