Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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