her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
