Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
