Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
