Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
