Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
