I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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