I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
