He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
