Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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