if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
