guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
